I would like to tell you a sad story, the
story of a single man, solitary and secular.
We were playmates at school together when I was young, both of us being
the only children of our respective parents.
We got on well enough in the early days of public school. In high school, our paths diverged: he continued in his secular path, while I
became caught up in the Jesus People Movement.
After sowing the usual wild oats of his day, he settled down to a
respectable job, working in the school system as a janitor like his father. He had work mates, of course, but no real
friends. After his father died, he
continued to live at home with his aging mother. But even so he lived a solitary life, and
would go straight from work into his little basement apartment, taking his meal
and spending the evening alone, while his mother ate her meal upstairs by
herself. She was lonely, and concerned
about him, of course, and would've liked his company. She was concerned that he was depressed, and that
he said that he couldn't see any reason why he continued living. She pointed out to him his good job, and his
nice car, but to no avail. He had no
friends, no girl friend or wife, no “significant other”, and of course no
children. When he died, he died alone in
his basement apartment, and was buried by his mother, his funeral attended by
her. Later, after several years, his
mother also died. He lived and died,
leaving no footprints; it is now as if he never existed.
Such
a life is a tremendous tragedy. Most
people leave footprints—people who will remember us after we die and will bless
our memory. Children will remember their
parents, pupils remember teachers who taught them wisdom, people remember
friends whose love and laughter enriched their life. The poor bless, even if just or a moment,
those whose help and financial aid they receive. But my old playmate never had children. He never served as mentor to other younger
men, never lit up the life another friend with the warmth of his love. He attended no church or social group. As far as I know, he never gave money to the
poor or to any charity. His refusal or
inability to reach out means that his death effectively deleted every trace of
his life from the world.
The
tragedy of such a life finds its echoes in the Scriptures. One psalm laments that such men, even though
they “name lands their own” and call their property after themselves in an
effort to ensure some sort of immortality, still cannot abide, despite all
their pomp. They are “like the beasts
that perish” (Ps. 49:11-12). And by
“beasts” the Psalmist does not refer to animals like our modern pets, named and
loved their owners, but to the wild beasts, unnamed and unknown, who die
unnoticed and unlamented, their bodies lying as carrion in the wilderness.
While
we yet live, we retain the ability to leave footprints. Whether we are married or unmarried, single
or divorced, whether we live alone or with others, we can reach out to those
around us. We can speak words of comfort
to those in need; we can support a child through charitable agencies; we can
cultivate friendship; we can learn the names of those asking for spare change
as we put the money into their hand and ask them to pray for us in return. Ultimately, of course, it is not about how
many people remember us after we are gone, but whether God remembers us, making
our memory to be eternal in His Kingdom.
But God asks us even now to reach out to others, and give ourselves
according to ability and opportunity to the people He puts across our path and
in our life. There are many
opportunities; we walk through soft sand.
In such sand, we can, if we choose, leave many footprints.
One
last thing: I invite you to light a
candle and say a prayer for my old playmate, for he has no one else to do
so. His name is Rick.
I will most certainly light a candle for your friend's remembrance. Your friend's life is much like our own son's. Our son died at 28; two years ago. I continue to find and hear about small ways our son did touch other lives and this brings sme comfort. He battled depression and could not pull himself out of it enough to enjoy life here. I pray he is now flooded with God's light and love surrounding him - as I will pray that for your friend also.
ReplyDeleteA bereft mother
Thank you for writing. I will pray for your son also.
ReplyDeleteThank you,Father - Our son's name is Michael.
ReplyDeleteFather, this post continues to haunt me. I am also remembering your friend in prayer.
ReplyDeleteHelena
Thank you. Let us continue to pray for each other, trusting in the boundless mercy of our dear Lord.
ReplyDelete